You Will Be Safe in Here
by serafina19
Summary: They thought they knew what they were doing the day of the funeral, but eventually, they see that they will need each other to get through the pain.


**Timeline**: Doomsday, with a twist  
**Dedication: **I have been trying to find a way to replicate the style of **simply_steffv**'s "Everything You Want" (if you haven't read it, do because it's seriously incredible) and I think this is the closest I'm going to get. Steff, this one's for you.

* * *

**You Will be Safe in Here**

The alarm goes off in the morning and you _throw away the radio_, so desperate for the noise to end that it crashes hard against the floor and you actually hear the plug being forced out of the wall.

Truth be told, you have no idea why you set the alarm, because you've hardly slept during the last forty-eight hours. After all, there wasn't much point sleeping when the _suitcase keeps you awake_, as your plane ride out of Metropolis isn't far away. It was time for you to go, as the signs were all there for you to see, the only thing left was to go to was Jimmy's funeral and say goodbye without actually speaking the words. No, this time, the blood spilt is enough to understand that you doesn't deserve a goodbye. It's what happens when you let everyone you care about down, and all you can hope is that in time, your memory will fade to black, allowing them to move on.

That's why _hide the telephone _in your suitcase, not wanting to answer the calls and give false hope, no matter how many calls you miss. Although you can't fathom why it's ringing at all, _the telephone _rings nonetheless, as you've gone radio silent and changed the code to the clocktower. When the incessant noise becomes too much for you to ignore, you turn off the _telephone in case_ because the Green Arrow, the Oliver Queen they remember, is likely gone for good.

If nothing else, _you realize that sometimes_ you can't fix all of the problems. And while that shouldn't be enough to toss you down this hole, when you look outside at the devastation that lay below, you can't help but think… this is all your fault. Maybe if you had listened to Chloe, to Clark, maybe they could have found a better solution than this. But who are you kidding? Your judgment has been clouded for a long time and as you turn your head to look at your reflection, it's clear that _you're just not okay_.

_You'll level off, _you told yourself after killing Lex. It was supposed to be a one-time deal, which was how you could justify framing a man for a crime you committed. _You'll level off; _you thought after shooting Clark with a Kryponite dart. At the time, you thought that was right and if it dealt with Doomsday, you figured that it was a small price to pay. But in reality, Jimmy, an innocent man, was the one who paid for your mistakes, so the idea that_ you'll level off _doesn't even cross your mind, because this time, you realize how many lines you crossed. These are mistakes that no matter of money, power, status or honesty can ever overturn.

**~0~**

You wipe the tears from your face, trying to be strong as you step out of the car. You're the last to arrive, not that it surprises you, as it took every inch of strength to pull yourself out of bed this morning. After all, what were you thinking when you thought there was a chance you could get out of this mess unscathed? You had been so wrong about everything, yet somehow, despite all of your mistakes, Jimmy ensures that his dying act saves your life.

_And it's not alright now_, as you go from family member to family member of Jimmy's most of whom… you've never met. Not to mention that most of them look at you with a sneer of sorts, which makes sense. You are his ex-wife after all, so there's nothing else _you need to understand_ about this and _there's nothing strange about this_.

It's just loss, mixed with the guilt you feel inside and the desire to tell his family something more than you were sorry for how your marriage panned out. This was the last ending that you had expected, and maybe that's why this time, standing in front of his coffin, it hurts more than you ever want to admit out loud.

You try to push some of the pain aside, try to convince yourself of things around you that matter more in the long run. Like how this isn't the end of everything, that life does go on… eventually. Right before he died, Jimmy had seen you, everything about you… and he understood. You couldn't ask for much more than that.

Then you look around at the faces and suddenly, there's a few you recognize. _You need to know your friends _are there for you, you remind yourself, as Dinah and Bart stand within inches of you. For a second, you take a deep breath and relax, but it all disappears when you realize that your two comrades are braver than the man they called their leader.

You wonder if he knows that you spotted him, but based on the fact that your eyes never meet, you assume that's not the case as he stands there, rows down, almost embarrassed. You get why he's placing the distance between everyone, as you had called him at least three times, but the only thing that accomplished was that you have now memorized his voicemail message.

So seeing him now doesn't make it better, because the fact he's standing far away tells you everything. He's leaving, and _you need to know that_ he's not coming back.

Closing your eyes, you feel the tears start to stream down your face, as between him, Clark and Lois, there's a slow reminder that nothing will ever be the same again.

**~0~**

For awhile, your eyes are drawn to the coffin, but you glance up and see her tears and it almost makes you step forward, but you quickly remind yourself that Chloe deserved more than to be comforted by you, only to see you take off the next day.

As the minister finished speaking, the bible clapped shut and the people started walking away. You take note of her turning her head back once more, silently saying goodbye. It's a simple action, but it's enough for you to feel a few tears slip down your cheek. But it's time to go before you make things worse.

However, before you go, there's something you see that stops you.

_I'll be _damned, you almost say, as in the distance, just like you, is her best friend. Standing still, head down, but you know it's him. It seems like the unhealthy guilt was spread heavily around, as he's not following Chloe or anyone else. No instead, he looks up and sees you in the distance and begins to walk away slower than you had ever seen Clark walk before.

You always thought that he'd be there for her, but instead, he's _wavin' his hand_, saying goodbye to everything. So you look back to Chloe, now walking alone and you wonder where Dinah and Bart had gone, as they are nowhere in sight.

Jimmy's, or rather, Henry's family were walking in a group in a different direction, leaving a single blonde woman, wiping the tears from her eyes. And suddenly, your feet become weights, conflicted on the direction they should travel.

Your car is behind you, your bags are packed, your pilot is flying in tonight. Everything is ready to go tomorrow. But her face flashes in front of you, the infectious smile she rarely shared, yet it lit up a room when she did. The confident way she looked as she narrowed down classified information faster than some people narrow down their keys. The light in her eyes after Isis, Watchtower, gave her a renewed sense of hope after a taste of the Zatanna dust.

All was not lost for her, but if no one showed her that... then she'd be lost once more. And as much as you think you should leave, you owe her this much.

It's a good thing you come to that realization as your feet had already made up their mind and much of the ground that had existed between you and her is gone now.

"Chloe," you call out as she gets closer to her car and once she turns around, you see the surprise in her eyes. She's also clearly confused by your sudden appearance, not that you blame her.

But as the stare continues, you notice her expression change, as she's probably _watching you drown, watching you scream _inside_. _Despite the sound of your voice, _quiet or loud,_ Chloe was always good at reading people, even if the pain wasn't so easily heard when you finally open your month once more.

"I'm sorry," is about all you can say.

"So am I," is her reply as she gets in her car, but to her surprise, you run to the other side and get into the passenger seat. She opens her mouth to say something, but you stop her. "I know you want to be alone, but you can't be alone tonight."

You know all too well what it's like to suffer loss alone. In fact, it's the main type of grief that you know and you couldn't let Chloe get through this by herself. "I'm coming with you or you're staying with me. Take your pick."

**~0~**

Staring ahead, you swallow hard, wondering if Oliver knows about Lois' disappearance, the cherry on top of this stupid week. If he knows about Clark signing off his humanity, if he knows about the heroes who were bold enough to stand next to her and how they gave her a couple of poor excuses before walking away seconds later.

Out of everyone, he was the last person you expected to stick around. _And maybe _he's still not, you think, wondering if it's only for one night. Because even though _you should sleep_, Oliver knows you enough to know you will be too restless to do anything along the lines of sleeping. Between the wreckage on the streets, the emptiness of the Talon and the empty place Jimmy wanted to call home, there was no real escape from all of this.

Regardless, you nod, knowing that it was better than nothing… _and maybe_, even if it is for just one night, _you just need a friend_. From the look on his face, Oliver probably needs one too.

"Your place," you say quietly, as it's a change of scenery if nothing else.

**~0~**

You figure that there's a reception of sorts after the burial, but Chloe drives straight to the clocktower and silently gets out of the car. You follow her, but it isn't long before she pulls out the phone, sniffling back her tears as she calls police station after police station, asking about Lois. Her reception held up in the elevator, although the frustration in her voice increases by the second. You want to ask what happened to Lois, but when Chloe doesn't have the answer for something, you know it's not your place to ask. Still, you want to help in some way, but all you see is blanks.

So you sit at your desk, trying to do some paperwork, but the words fade into one big mess and you can't read them properly, although it has nothing to do with the mix of anger and sorrow in Chloe's voice as she paces back and forth. Pulling the chair back, you piece together that Lois is missing, which explains her absence at the funeral and you walk towards your room to see the open suitcase that you had so eagerly packed.

Taking a step closer, you shake your head. The decision was so clear this morning, but it was amazing to see what a few hours did. Your foot lifts once more but it drops back down when you hear a crash in the other room, followed by Chloe screaming.

For an hour, she had been on that phone and it seemed like that time had taken its toll on her. Her breathing heavy as she stared at the wall where she had propelled her phone against, slowly Chloe looks up at you.

"What am I going to do, Ollie?" she whispers, and once more, the words leave you.

"I don't know," is your honest response, one that hides your shock, as you can't believe that _as clumsy as you've been, _she's still looking to you for advice. All the mistakes you had made, all of the choices that backfired and somehow she can still look to you… look at you.

So you grab her shoulders and as her eyes lock to yours. Initially, you half-consider something to lighten the mood, but _there's no one laughing_ in this room, not now, not for awhile. So instead you pull her close, refusing her the chance to break away. Eventually, she breaks and the tears begin to fall again and she begins to relax in the embrace. The words aren't said, but they are clear.

You will get through this.

You can come to me.

_You will be safe in here._

**~0~**

It's no surprise that you give up on sleeping almost immediately, although you are grateful for the change of clothes you had left at Oliver's, as those clothes had no reminder of Jimmy or the fragments of her life that were disappearing one by one. As the clothes peeled off, she wanted to forget everything, the funeral, the reason for the funeral, all the mistakes that led to it. And in the process, you _throw away this very _notion that you were a hero among the guys. This was the chance to make a difference, but instead, everything fell flat. Clark was gone, the league was falling apart, heck you haven't seen Lois in... too long ago.

So it's fitting that you find yourself currently on the floor, as you see little point in getting up. It's the _old shoelace, it tripped you again_, any casual observer would think. After all, you didn't even bother to do it up properly. But it's more than that, and even though you find your feet, the scrapes on your hands remind you of the blood that used to be on them. You _try and shrug it off, _but it's no use. You need fresh air, you need to get past this, you need to...

All of your thoughts stop when you pass Oliver's room. As you stare inside, you notice that he's not in there, but what is in there are packed suitcases. Once more, you do everything you can to _shrug it off, shrug it off_, as it was exactly what you were expecting from him, but instead, it just furthers your determination to leave. After all, what was the point of holding onto something that didn't truly exist?

So you continue down the hall, determined to get to the elevator unseen. It might have worked, it may even have been what Oliver expected as he didn't even turn his head towards you. But you see him, sitting on the couch alone, downing a glass of scotch and topping it off as if he was on autopilot.

Not wanting to get caught staring, you whip your body back against the wall, staring straight ahead. It's clear that neither of you can sleep, but you never expected Oliver to take it this bad. And as the seconds tick by, you realize that this is your moment. Are you any better to leave now when Oliver went out of his way to ensure you were okay just hours ago?

Looking at your hand, you feel your expression fall. Before, it seemed like such a big deal, but _it's only skin now_. It would heal one day, just like them and maybe then... they could find peace.

"You're better than this," you say to him, announcing your presence as you turn the corner once more, and once he turns her head to look towards you, you see that look again. The one outside of your car at the cemetery, the one that she thought was reflecting the fact that he saw your pain. But now you know that it reflected his pain too.

"You sure about that?" he says half-heartedly.

"You're still here." Sighing as the suitcases envision in your head, it hurt to admit to him that you saw them, but lies had little meaning at this point. "You could have left me behind, but you didn't. I mean… you were leaving right?"

"Chloe, _you need to understand..."_ But he stops, likely knowing there isn't a word that was going to make that fact better.

It was incomplete, but the apology was there, along with the vulnerability that he hardly let anyone see. _There's nothing fake about this_, not any of his charm or wit covering the pain in his eyes. This was Oliver Queen down to the core. "I do," you say, surprised how genuine it sounds, but it pays off. He looks at you and for the first time in a week, you feel something new.

Hope.

**~0~**

You watch her get up and take a few steps away, so you search for the easiest phrase to change the conversation. "You couldn't sleep either, huh?"

Her head immediately dipped. "I doubt that I'll be able to any time soon."

"Ditto."

She sighs loudly, shaking her head before turning back to face you. "Oliver, when does it get easier?"

Placing the glass down, you admit honestly, "It doesn't." Those words won't help, you know that, but there was no up-side to lying either. So once you push yourself up from the couch, you feel yourself shrug, hoping that she would understand. "Eventually you think about it less because you have to move forward but… it never gets easy."

Tilting her head, Chloe says softly, "I figured as much."

"But we have to stick together," you reply quickly, not wanting her to get any other ideas. For now, you see a different solution ahead, and it doesn't involve the suitcase you had hurried to pack. "Chloe, this isn't the time for me to say this, especially considering that I know I screwed up, but _you need to let me in._"

You put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly before adding, "Please understand that you won't be alone in this, because I promise you that I'm going to be here every step of the way."

As she nods, another unfamiliar feature returns as a smile cracks through. It's momentary, but it's enough for you to believe that somewhere, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, along with the hope in the single sentence she speaks.

"I... think I can do that."

Feeling a strange sort of relief wash over you, you step forward and bring her close again. "Chloe, we... we will get through this," you whisper, even before you feel her arms wrap around her back.

"You have to let me in too, you know?" she said, more confidence in her voice than before and it doesn't take very long for you to respond:

"That's fair."

From there, you wait for her response, or for her to back away, but instead, you feel the pressure leave her shoulders and you continue to stand there, not caring about the time passing by. For in this moment, you both have found a sense of peace and right now, that was worth more than anything. So you lean your forehead down to touch the top of her head and breath normally, not wanting to take this moment for granted. After all, you know that life can only go up from here.

**~End~**

* * *

_Sera's Scribbles: The italics are lyrics from Our Lady Peace's "Clumsy." I don't own the song, and unfortunately, I did cheat and change one pronoun, but I figured it was close enough. In other news, I think it's time to write something not from early Season 9. Maybe even something happy and not bittersweet. What that something is... I have no idea._


End file.
